Listening

Understanding and Cultivating Effective Listening: A Dialectical Theory of the Tensions Between Intuition and Behavior

Abstract

Abstract High-quality listening is a multifaceted social behavior, and theories and research concerning listening and how to train people to listen are mixed in terms of listening definitions and recommendations. The current study canvassed lay practitioners’ understanding of optimal listening qualities and training, drawing on a wide range of listening training materials (N = 207) sourced from the World Wide Web. Thematic analysis results were critically examined to systematically position praxis against our current understanding of listening theories. Findings are presented as a “dialectical listening theory,” which posits that at its core, listeners’ behaviors often exist in direct tension with their mindset or intuition. Furthermore, we posit that this tension is amplified when individuals are faced with conversations that conflict with their perspectives or values, making learning to listen challenging in practice. We conclude that high-quality listening requires direct recognition and strategic management of these tensions throughout the listening process and make recommendations based on listening and cognitive theories to inform best practice in listening training. Keywords: listening; listening training; active listening; dual-processing
Rave R , Itzchakov G , Weinstein N , Moin T
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Listening
What does it mean to listen, and what enables people to do it well? This study examines the cultural foundations, conditions, expressions, and outcomes of listening through a qualitative analysis of 20 semi-structured interviews with Israeli participants. Using reflexive thematic analysis, we identified five interrelated themes showing how listening is shaped by relational closeness, emotional safety, internal motivation, behavioral expression, and emotional impact. Participants described listening as an intentional and emotionally effortful process, grounded in trust, cultural norms, and personal willingness to remain present. It was experienced not only through visible behaviors but through authentic emotional presence and attunement. Crucially, listening was described as the most vulnerable and most revealing in contexts of conflict, emotional strain, or power asymmetries, where relational and ethical demands intensify. These findings highlight listening as a culturally situated, interpretive practice shaped by collective norms, emotional intensity, and social hierarchy. This study contributes to context-sensitive models of listening with implications for interpersonal relationships, organizational leadership, and intercultural communication, particularly in high-conflict or culturally diverse environments where listening serves as a key relational and managerial resource.
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Harry T. Reis, Guy Itzchakov, Karisa Y. Lee, and Yan Ruan
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Responsiveness
Extensive research has documented people’s desire for social partners who are responsive to their needs and preferences, and that when they perceive that others have been responsive, they and their relationships typically thrive. For these reasons, perceived partner responsiveness is well-positioned as a core organizing theme for the study of sociability in general, and close relationships in particular. Research has less often addressed the downstream consequences of perceived partner responsiveness for cognitive and affective processes. This gap in research is important because relationships provide a central focus and theme for many, if not most, of the behaviors studied by social psychologists. This chapter begins with an overview of the construct of perceived partner responsiveness and its centrality to relationships. We then review programs of research demonstrating how perceived partner responsiveness influences three core social-psychological processes: self-enhancing social cognitions, attitude structure, and emotion regulation. The chapter concludes with a brief overview of how deeper incorporation of relationship processes can enhance the informativeness and completeness of social psychological theories.
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