Social-based learning and leadership in school: conflict management training for holistic, relational conflict resolution

We examined how the experience of high-quality listening (attentive, empathic, and nonjudgmental) impacts speakers’ basic psychological needs and state self-esteem when discussing the difficult topic of a prejudiced attitude. Specifically, we hypothesized that when speakers discuss a prejudiced attitude with high-quality listeners, they experience higher autonomy, relatedness, and self-esteem than speakers who share their prejudiced attitudes while experiencing moderate listening. We predicted that autonomy needs satisfaction would mediate the effect of listening on speakers’ self-esteem even when relatedness, a well-documented predictor of self-esteem, is controlled for in mediation models. Two experiments that manipulated listening through in-person interactions with high-quality or moderate listeners supported these hypotheses. Theoretical and practical implications are discussed, with a focus on the role of experiencing high-quality listening for speakers’ state self-esteem during difficult conversations.

Disagreements can polarize attitudes when they evoke defensiveness from the conversation partners. When a speaker talks, listeners often think about ways to counterargue. This process often fails to depolarize attitudes and might even backfire (i.e., the Boomerang effect). However, what happens in disagreements if one conversation partner genuinely listens to the other’s perspective? We hypothesized that when conversation partners convey high-quality listening—characterized by attention, understanding, and positive intentions—speakers will feel more socially comfortable and connected to them (i.e., positivity resonance) and reflect on their attitudes in a less defensive manner (i.e., have self-insight). We further hypothesized that this process reduces perceived polarization (perceived attitude change, perceived attitude similarity with the listener) and actual polarization (reduced attitude extremity). Four experiments manipulated poor, moderate, and high-quality listening using a video vignette (Study 1) and live interactions (Studies 2–4). The results consistently supported the research hypotheses and a serial mediation model in which listening influences depolarization through positivity resonance and nondefensive self-reflection. Most of the effects of the listening manipulation on perceived and actual depolarization generalized across indicators of attitude strength, specifically attitude certainty and attitude morality. These findings suggest that high-quality listening can be a valuable tool for bridging attitudinal and ideological divides.